

“Lately, I’ve tried to break it down,” Turley said. But their real problem was with their heads, the one part of their body that got hit over and over again. There were men with aching knees and backs and hands, from all those years of playing football. Andre Waters, a former defensive back for the Philadelphia Eagles, sank into depression and pleaded with his girlfriend-“I need help, somebody help me”-before shooting himself in the head. Another former Pittsburgh Steeler, Terry Long, drifted into chaos and killed himself four years ago by drinking antifreeze. history, ended his life a recluse, sleeping on the floor of the Pittsburgh Amtrak station. Mike Webster, the longtime Pittsburgh Steeler and one of the greatest players in N.F.L. He knew all the stories about former football players. For nine years, before he retired, in 2007, he was an offensive lineman in the National Football League. He is thirty-four years old, with a square jaw and blue eyes. I was conscious, but I couldn’t speak the words I wanted to say.” My limbs were shaking, and I couldn’t speak. My wife, she was really scared, because I had never passed out like that before, and I started becoming really paranoid. “We went out in the parking lot, and I just lost it,” Turley went on. You were breathing.’ I’m, like, ‘What? What?’ ”

“He was saying, ‘Damn, man, I couldn’t find a pulse,’ and my wife said, ‘No, no. “The guy was freaking out,” Turley recalled. The warmup band was still playing, and he remembers saying, “I’m just going to take a nap right here until the next band comes on.” Then he was lying on the floor, and someone was standing over him. He asked his wife if he could sit on her stool for a moment. One month, he had vertigo every day, bouts in which he felt as if he were stuck to a wall. He had been having episodes like that with increasing frequency during the past year-headaches, nausea. He’d ordered a beer, but was just sipping it, because he was driving home. It was one of the countless little places in the city that play live music. One evening in August, Kyle Turley was at a bar in Nashville with his wife and some friends.
